so many things are the same

I appear to be caught in a destructive sleep cycle of not sleeping until 11:30 then being EXHAUSTED the next day. 

look,  a bird. 

I've been messing around with pencil shading recently and trying to work it together with ink, which is kind of a terrible idea.

I've also been trying to infuse the idea of writing/drawing without planning and letting the image create itself which produces ok images and storylines. I mean, its not something I can do for every piece.

I really enjoy this blog, it allows me to talk about my own work which I don't really do, and I feel like right now I am learning how. I feel like when I add to this I am training.

Somethings are only scary because they make me feel serene

SO TODAY 

I had a quiet revelation while attending Fine Arts Center, it has to do with the journal post of a dancing clown.

I think I realized that:

1. There is an acute differance between being awkward and embarressed, between acting in a way deliberately, and acting because in a way because we were made that way.

2. we are made the way we are and we cannot fight that we can only embellish.

3. We are all made from the things inside tadpoles. 

So I might be changing sites soon, I am unsure, I might be updating in two places, we'll see.

here is a rant:

I am telling my enviornmental class about fallingwhistles which is a project very similar to Invisable Children, but much more immediate? I think its something you need to look up for youreself (CLICK THE LINK) and view, either way its fascinating, and heart breaking, and I'm telling my class about it.

When this person in my class who drives a huge gas eating car and owns a lake house, talks about how Falling Whistles sounds like a waste of time, how those people are hurting the world more than helping it, how he hopes they die.

Look. I know that people can say whatever they want under our constitution, and that thats an amaizng thing but the thing is that sometimes people say these things and it makes me wonder about the capacity of human greed.

I also understand that in the end I am just as greedy as the person who is saying all these things, I am not a saint, I am not the dali llama, I am buying a dress from ebay. I am just as materialistic and awful and I am doing just as little to help the world.

The point of this well crafted rant: Go to falling whistles and read the blog, read the story, understand what its all about. 

My mom is out shopping for lingerie

lingerie is such a weird word, it sounds excellent to say, like a wisp of a word, but when you write it down it is an ugly word. 

Ok! so I was going to have a sunday flow special, and I thought ,what better place to look for flow charts then old legal pads? And I stumbled across my old cona legal pad! And Cona is comicng up and I was just talking to Mary about it. 

I love my CONA pad, there are so many written conversations, connect 4 games, weird drawings of fish and men? I mean, it is just a little bit absurd and wonderful.

 

Yesterday's post reminds me of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

TODAY IS A DELAYED GUESTBLOGGER DAY! HOORAY!

and! We have a guest blogger for once.

Her name is Julia, she is lovely. She has great taste in sweaters. I met her, once. I like looking at her facebook notes they are exciting. 

I like her journal.  I think it is self explanatory

I also really like the bit about her mom. I love my mom intensly. I think mothers are fascinating. I think their relationship with their offspring is equally fascinating. 

I miss being apart of something secret and special.

Hi darlings! Its getting time for me to go to bed so I will make this quick!

Today is a progression of pictures! I covered a piece of paper in masking tape, strategically making a design, colored with pen, then took off the tape!

I didn't really get the effect I was looking for? But it was too hard to fill in all the spaces with pen, and I can't use paint because then the masking tape wouldn't come off. Pulling off masking tape is very nerve wracking. 

I think I will try again with oil pastals, and ok! So! 

The leftover masking tape was all marbled, I enjoyed the look of it so I covered a page in my journal with it. 

so. thats the entry for today, I cannot really think of anything else to include. 

goodnight darlings! 

FRICK. TODAY IS WEDNESDAY GUEST BLOGGER DAY AND I WAS GOING TO POST JULIAS WORK AND I FORGOT AND I AM SO SORRY JULIA.

but uhm, I'm lazy. and this post is already done so tomorrow will be julia day! 

It seems to me that the only things nuclear warfare can't exterminate are cockroaches and sadness

Hey, I am really really heavy with words and feelings right now so this is going to be a lightening fast update! 

Today I went to MUN training and I doodled a bit. Here are pictures! 

The whole idea was supposed to be big bold faces and wispy little bodies, but then I realized that I have lost the ability to draw a face and my shading got all goofy so it ended up being a poor page of doodles.

I don't think its done. 

so who else knew that anne frank was bisexual?

Hi! Sorry I did not update yesterday, I had a horrific day. it has been a horrific weekend, I will make a list of all the horrific things that happened after I explain this journal entry.

its really quite simple, Bryce sent me a letter about catharsis and I wrote him one back in flowchart form. I included closeups of my favorite arrows, it is a private letter but if you are able to read that power to you sir.

I like flowing, the energy of words is preserved with this form.

so the list of promised horrendous things.

1)today my grandmother bent down to pick up something she dropped and I saw her ass.

2) I hate waking up after 3 hours of sleep after an anxiety ridden night. I was shaking I was wobbly I did not look or feel like myself.

3) there is a stress that accompanies family issues. Watching people crack like old styrofoam is horrendous. 

4) I went to india day and watched people prostitute themselves for money. I did not enjoy india day.

5) I went out to get the paper one morning and found a  dead shrew in the middle of our side walk. a huge fly was crawling over it. I wanted to cry. 

6) I saw ann frank at the ware house theater, and if you are in the greenville theater I encourage you to see it because it was simply stunning. Talented actors, innovative conveying of information, and so touching. They also include anne as a homosexual and I'm really glad that that is included and not just left out. I mean they show her as heterosexual too, and I don't want to imply that by including that they had a homosexual agenda, but rather that by including it they were being honest and open. 

anne frank was horrifying in the sense that after seeing it I was so enraged with man kind, how did we let that happen? how do we keep letting it happen? why are we so ugly? 

there is more but I am tired and cannot remember everything.

7)

is he the boy with the mohawk?

So first, I think a journal entry is in line for today.

I'm not wild about this one, it looks so cartoony, but at the same time I'm a sucker for the big dark lines. 

in the picture theres a bunch of things:a knee, a parrot, a man, a woman a coffee cup, a ghost, an owl, an elephant, a woman dancing. 

thats not everything in there  but thats alot and I fell asleep whileu pdating so goodnight darlings. 

Is that my squirrel rummaging around?

Ok! So I know last night my post was very haphazard, but the links really are quite cool.

Speaking of links... 

The first link is a link to a sight run by a man who abhores hello kitty and posts pictures of hello kitty in diffrent forms. Its superb, here is Hello Kitty as sushi (My favorite of these kitty sushies is the right one where hello kitty's face is HUGE.

The second link is to nothing but nets which is this whole campaign to prevent malaria in Africa, which can be done by making widespread use of mosquito nets there. Unfortuantely nets are too expensive for lots of Africans, but s

eeing as they are only ten dollars they aren't too expensive for the rest of the world. 

So check it out here! If you think about it ten dollars is nothing, I mean what else are you going to spend it on, an old navy town gown? 

And The big shabang for today! Journal! So today was one of those days that I really wish I had my scanner, I was going to upload this sweet list I complied of things that are good in my life and I'll try and do that tomorrow. Its one of my best journal pages.

but the page I did upload is tiny, and its a drawing of whats supposed to be a baby laying in a pa. It doesn't really look like that , but I still like it. coming off the hand is a tight rope some clouds, a sun, and a cemetary. These are illustrations that accompany a story I'm working on right now. 

Right now I'm listening to modest mouse and it is extremely comforting, I like how sad and soulful modest mouse is and how when I'm listening to  them I feel like I'm crying without being sad, its like a thread being pulled from inside of me and I like it alot. 

And even the hoover dam never felt this much pressure

I am feeling extremely pressured right now. I have alot due tomorrow, I have lost my flash drive with all my work, I have to find something to read, I have to read. but on a brighter note ms. kassady saw this blog for the first time today and that my very loyal friends is exciting.

What is not exciting is that its guest blogger day and I have no guest bloggers so I will find a guest blogger.

I guess the first thing I want to share is Sean Anderson, a man I met on the internet (to make it  clear, I don't know him actually. I just google him and see what he's up to) 

Click here for his art. its lovely, and absurd? especially the foil art. 

So here is what else, I also really love this woman's art, I think she is great. 

I wish I had a picture to put on here, but I am so freaking tired and I need to write and my room is a mess and just FRICK. 

sup, ladies?

okokok. supperfastupdate, because I miss sleep enormously and I was a bit cranky today because I lacked some last night, but. 

I didn't work on the ever growing doodle today, however, I did draw this during creativewriting.

I mean its sloppy, involves facial hair, and is a little bit absurd (do you see that nose?), what more could you expect? 

It says quitefranklydear in the middle of the woman's face because I"m going to release it into the recyling and see where it goes.

Alright. Now that this has been squared away, see you tomorrow! 

hmhmhm

look!  I clearly have an incrediblefascination with crayons! and its chipping off a little bit. I cringe when other people handle my journal. 

I also love the effect that happens on the reverse side of the page. I like how one thing has two results, its very newton (every action has a an equal and opposite reaction) 

So if you scroll down you can see the evolving doodle of the day. I like the way its going, I usually have one of those in each of my jouranls, maybe one wednesday hwen I have no one sumitting

what an excellent plug fro me to say THAT I POST OTHER PEOPLE'S JOURNALS ON WEDNESDAYS. and I would love if you emailed me yours.

anyways, one wednesday I would love to do an evolution of the doodle from each of my journals. it will happen. 

So intresting tidbit: I was watching the news and there are these people participating in what they call the " Ebony Expierment" which is where they are only buying from black owned grocery stores. It was on cnn. I don't understand the logic. 

Also intresting, last night I watched Morgan Spurlock do this documentary where he tried to live on minimum wage with his girlfriend for a month to make a point about minimum wage being raised. 

This is what frustrates me: As much as I admire Morgan Spurlock to devote his life to making important points about life (even if he is a little bit pretentious from time to time. ok alot of the time), but no matter what he does, its still a really biased documentary. 

Almost all documentaries are biased with is a freaking shame because otherwise they'd be a really good way to convey information and prove points. 

Also: America's Next Top Model auditions: a brawl broke out. That's disappointing. I am  so concentrated on becoming a lady right now and the concept of trashy obnoxious, petty women getting into catfights, how disrespectful. Ladies fight with wit, they destroy one another in slow, subtle, civil ways. In ways that destroy a person's life, they same way a volcano  destroys an archaic village. 

ok. happy sunday night guys, I hope your monday is fabulous. 

zombies exist? what?

they do, by the way. Exist in Haiti. Google it. 

So I watch alot of communitychannel, you know that asian australian on youtube? 

Anyways, I was watching a video on communitychannel and at the end of the video natalie, the host, says "do you guys do this too?" then she pulls out a bannana colored to look like a dog and says 'woof'. It was reall adorable. So instead of a journal post today we have my fruit friend, applekins. 

 

I know! That is an attractive picture of me, and a superb one of my fruit faced pal. 

The second part of todays post is the ever growing doodle! 

Why yes, yes I did take this picture upside down on purpose! Look, look there is a clown, looming. Yeah. It's real cool. 

I hope you have a real cool friday. 

darrrrrlings.

so. I see none of you submitted anything? 

Thats ok, I think I understand why. I keep saying in here how I like those beautiful organic doodles, but I also know that to the producer of doodles they kind of look lame, and the fact is that when we show our art we want it to be something good, polished, deep. 

I also realized I never really post the ugly doodles that I hate. so I mean. to the left. 

I doodled this while watching a rerun of the office. I hate it, but I"m going to keep it and each day I"ll post a progression and it will look GREAT.

Because doodles are great. I think I'm insistent on that fact because I feel like doodling is the creative pulse that everyone posesses and I'm curious to see what peoples heart beats look like. 

I'm going back to updating this every day so see you tomorrow darlings :] 

djafdjakfh

I was supposed to update yesterday. But uhm ok, excuses:

1)I'm fasting and I can't remember anything/think logically

2)Its 76 degrees out, how can I stay inside updating a blog?

3) my head hurts and I can't take medicine cause that contrasts a fast.

so.so. so. I've started making bracelets. heres a  couple pictures of one! (this is a journal submission. a poor one. but I mean. it counts. )

So the bracelets! They are made of masking tape and paint and I sell them for two dollars and I mean if your intrested, eh? eh? 

TOMORROW. GUEST BLOGGER. SUBMITSUBMITSUBMIT

Soooo, this is an awful post. I am sorry, tomorrow will hopefully be better because I'm probably going to end the fast today? 

It smells like a campfire in here

HI. 

the pictures to the left are two sides of the same page. The bottom picture is a crayon design plus melted crayon and I' just got a way better idea on how to do it so I'm going to try again. and its going to look great.

I got the idea to melt crayons from eric.

Melting cryons smells horrible. 

Despite that I really like working with crayons, its satisfying to color with them. Theres something bold about them. plus they are cheap art supplies

I also painted myself last ngiht! I am unsure if I want to put any pictures up here because they are all sort of intimate, but if you would like to see them please email me. 

I think thats all I have to say for today :] I hope you guys had a great weekend!

And I'm done FOREVER! its you and me forevvvvvvvvvvver

So. GUEST BLOGGER DAY. YEAHYEAHYEAH.

our lovely submission today comes from ANDREW. 

it looks tiny. 

its a little bit tiny. But cute, no? I had no clue andrew was so cute on the inside.

AND. HERE IS MORE PICTURES. THEY ARE PICTURES OF MY NEW JOURNAL. HOOFREAKINGRAY.

I mean, in case you didn't notice. They are very large pictures, and thats both sides, the fabrics are inverted, incase you can't tell. 

The world is just dirt and snow, panic and smoke

I have decided to make today a day of endings! 

Every journal I have comes to an end and I just ended the black journal!

Everytime I end a journal I have an ending page where I sum up the events that took place during that time, and I include a date for the ending and give it a theme (discovery, recovery) 

The theme of the black journal was rediscovery: a transformation into the self aware.

My favorite part about the end of the black journal and the only thing you can really see: My new self portrait. I draw myself with a beard and mustache now because here is the truth: I have been growing facial hair since I was 4 and I am a girl and that hair is a much a part of me as my crooked handwriting. I will change and manipulate it but I like it. 

I really really like it, and that is a strange thing to admit. I think, if given the choice, I would actually keep my facial hair. This is strange to admit. 

This is gross, but I think the world loves gross things. I just found a pimple on the underside of my chin. Squashing it was like squashing a grape, squashing it felt like letting something go and it felt natural.

I feel like not alot of things feel natural to me, if I was an animal I would die (if you like reading about animal humanity thoughts read this) . 

Stay tuned for next time when I will:

1. unveil a new amazing lovely charity!

2. Provide us with more insight into human truth ( incase you weren't satisfied with this weeks)

3. Showcase a great new guest journaler ( who I actually don't have a submission for this week so if your intrested please email me some doodles from your math class) 

4. SHOW PICTURES OF MY NEW JOURNAL (which I will do if no one submits)

8 is my new favorite number

hihihi.

Claire drew these for me, because I love to flow and so she drew two pictures about energy flow ( the first two) and light flow (the last one)

For those of you who noticed-yes. yes it is sunday. No, no I did not update friday. I feel badly about this, but I have no good explanation.

I'm going to try and do a sunday, tuesday, thursday updating scheme and see how it works out. 

So if you are going to be in the Greenville area on March 7 PLEASE come to fyi! From 4 to like 7. We are holding an art day!  So bring your random crap and some art supplies (not nessacarily required but would be helpful) and COME.