I miss being apart of something secret and special.

Hi darlings! Its getting time for me to go to bed so I will make this quick!

Today is a progression of pictures! I covered a piece of paper in masking tape, strategically making a design, colored with pen, then took off the tape!

I didn't really get the effect I was looking for? But it was too hard to fill in all the spaces with pen, and I can't use paint because then the masking tape wouldn't come off. Pulling off masking tape is very nerve wracking. 

I think I will try again with oil pastals, and ok! So! 

The leftover masking tape was all marbled, I enjoyed the look of it so I covered a page in my journal with it. 

so. thats the entry for today, I cannot really think of anything else to include. 

goodnight darlings! 

FRICK. TODAY IS WEDNESDAY GUEST BLOGGER DAY AND I WAS GOING TO POST JULIAS WORK AND I FORGOT AND I AM SO SORRY JULIA.

but uhm, I'm lazy. and this post is already done so tomorrow will be julia day! 

Is that my squirrel rummaging around?

Ok! So I know last night my post was very haphazard, but the links really are quite cool.

Speaking of links... 

The first link is a link to a sight run by a man who abhores hello kitty and posts pictures of hello kitty in diffrent forms. Its superb, here is Hello Kitty as sushi (My favorite of these kitty sushies is the right one where hello kitty's face is HUGE.

The second link is to nothing but nets which is this whole campaign to prevent malaria in Africa, which can be done by making widespread use of mosquito nets there. Unfortuantely nets are too expensive for lots of Africans, but s

eeing as they are only ten dollars they aren't too expensive for the rest of the world. 

So check it out here! If you think about it ten dollars is nothing, I mean what else are you going to spend it on, an old navy town gown? 

And The big shabang for today! Journal! So today was one of those days that I really wish I had my scanner, I was going to upload this sweet list I complied of things that are good in my life and I'll try and do that tomorrow. Its one of my best journal pages.

but the page I did upload is tiny, and its a drawing of whats supposed to be a baby laying in a pa. It doesn't really look like that , but I still like it. coming off the hand is a tight rope some clouds, a sun, and a cemetary. These are illustrations that accompany a story I'm working on right now. 

Right now I'm listening to modest mouse and it is extremely comforting, I like how sad and soulful modest mouse is and how when I'm listening to  them I feel like I'm crying without being sad, its like a thread being pulled from inside of me and I like it alot. 

And I hear there is an imax theater for that

TODAY IS GUESTBLOGGER DAY! HOORAY! CUE THE BALLOONS AND CONFETTI!

today our guest is ERIC (last name withheld for privacy). 

You may notice these pictures are not scanned and are in black and white. I apoligize.  Eric made copies of them and I was going to scan them in, but low and behold my scanner is broken.

BUT! THE ENTRIES!

The first one looks really really cool in  color, but its still conceptually great. If you can't read it the bubble says "why are we here"

The second one  has a diagram printed out, pasted in diagrams of shapes that are 3d in real life, and boob drawings.

The Third one is an ad that was cut out and pasted into the great Erics journal. It pretty much looks alot cooler in black and white.

I like Eric, he writes well, and has a great mind. Plus he is really tall and adorable and sometimes when he talks he sounds like eyore a little bit. Its really really cute.

His final page entitled getbent is great. and is my favorite one. Starting from the bottom their is the meaning heavy picture of a gorrilla and a baby gorrilla and the big gorilla's eyes are covered with the word human.

Above that is a great silhoutte of a face that decends into a jellyfish like tale.

And above that is the words  " Loss Aversion"

"The pain of losing something is twice as strong as the joy of getting something if you make a bet and you must $1 if you lose, people tend to demand a $2 pay off if they win"

This is all entitled by the stenciled in words "GET BENT" 

I like Eric. I like this journal.  I hope you did too.

Normally all sorts of hooplah would accompany this post, but, seeing as how it is late, a school day, and I don't have alot to say, the hooplah ends here. 

But the post below has lots of GREAT hooplah. Including links to kiva, Jasmine Miller, and my thought blog. 

my stomach aches from all the cake I just ate and I reek of icing.

I know, this post is terrible late.

And I've decided I hate all the fonts and colors and I'm slowly deciding on a better change. I like the purple borders though.

I have also decided that I am a lady.

but here.


I'm trying to show the uglier, less complete parts of my journal. The first one looks like snot.

This one is not done. It is just a mess.



















Today has been a whirlwind of inclusion and exclusion and right now I am just too relaxed to even decide how I feel about it. Every day feels like a diffrent day and I really like about the world.

I'm really really happy and I really like that too.

I am eating a guava. its great. Sorry this post is a bit late

ok. so. first:
So! I found my black journal today! And as celebration I'm uploading more than usual today! hooray!

If you look to the side you will view the first art piece that is being dispayed to your left, you should be astounded by all those colors!

The text is notes on absurd/existentialism. The colors are absurd. GET IT?!

This was done with soft pastals, and the colors have faded alot. When I first did it it was alot more vibrant, try and imagine.

it kind of looks like a tunnel, and if I had to assign my mind in a way I would pick a further faded version of this. So many places to burrow.


And the next piece! A two page spread!


The right most page of the spread is faces drawn while in Miami. I learned how to draw noses there. I would go to breakfast early every morning and just move from table to table, drawing.

the other page is some faces and just random scribbles. I don't really like that page (if you look in the left upper corner of that page you can see me trying to convince myself other wise)

But I included it because it was next to the faces pa ge and I kind of wanted to include an awkward journal page?

Because. Ugly is allowed, with art I feel like ugly and awkward are SO nessacary, I feel like if we are always worried about not being ugly we can't progress and so yes. that s an ugly page. I am sharing. your turn.

So I hoped you notice the layout/font changes (how could you not) I figured out I needed a stretch template and I have always loved black backgrounds and white text on black background looked too bright. so I played with it.

I feel unprofessional with the background this way, and I might change it but I must admit that I like it. Thoughts?

So I'm trying to post the art first, and this random other stuff later because I feel like people feel obliged to read the other stuff. I'm working on a more thought based blog.

Also! Don't forget about kiva.org.

ok! I have a really superb night! I'm so sorry I was late on the post tonight.

OH. BEFORE I FORGET. Today ryann and ben came over and ryann dyed bens hair (I wrote a letter) and left the extra dye here. So I fished it out of the trash so I"m going to try and make some art but then I'm going to take a shower immediately after so I don't get everywhere. I'll let you know how it turns out :]

BYE. and sorry this is late again!

Let's get down to buisness...

...to defeat the huns!

Ok. We have alot to talk about today.

1. if you have not already noticed LOOK TO THE RIGHT. yes! yes! I am taking submissions of journal pages and I"m really excited because the best part about journals is JOURNAL SHARING. and I would really be happy if you sent me in some art ms. becca already has and I can't wait to post it tomorrow.

2. Journal for today

I was really inlove with this piece when I did it, then I set the last two pages of my journal on fire and you can see a burn mark on ehr leg and it just makes me incredibly upset when I look at it. but rest assured, at the time it was gorgeous.

3. Did you know about kiva.org ? I didn't!

Kiva.org is the best thing in the world. You lend money to third world entrepenurs in $25 increments and they pay you back plus interest! Which means you can take your money when they are done with it and buy yourself some ice cream and congratulate yourself on contributing AND you can reinvest it in some other third world country :] And. 97% of the participants repay their loans, Thats better credit than most us citizens can ever hope to have!

so yes. help the world. help the ECONOMY invest $25 and help a nation develop


4. So. I am realizing that I like updating every day and that I like this blog alot, and that I definetly definetly want everyone to send me pictures of their art/ text journals. I want everything you have to offer. I'm also realizing that I have alot on my mind all the time and I am pretty sure that I am going to develop another blog for writing/textually creative things.

5. SEND ME YOUR JOURNALS.

Your mom wants to go out drinking, want to come?

My dad burst into my room this morning, asking me the above question. It was a good morning. (I'm kidding. He went to work, not to the bar.)

Anyways. This morning I woke up several times, and each time I would push myself back into sleep, and as a result I remember SO MANY dreams. Each one ranged from mildly macrabe to incredibly sinister (the last one involved sugar creek muggings and I was so scared that I just gave up on sleep)

I've heard alot of people talk about lucid dreams, and I never understood the concept correctly because I realize I'm dreaming all the time, but if I try and change the course of the dream I just wake up, but today I remember this moment I had in the middle of a dream where I understood I was a dream and distorted the faces of everyone around me. Then I changed into a giant bird.

But enough pillow talk! I've reinvested my faith in my trusty scanner, and hopefully, it will work. So. To begin. This is a scanned in view of yesterday's post:

I finally go it up (thats what she said) and I had to try like 6 times. So. Appreciate. It doesn't look like this anymore and I don't know how happy I am with that but when I'm finished with it you won't even know what you're looking at.

And I have a couple new things to share with this post like one of my first journals. It is important for everyone looking at this journal to know that THOSE ARE NOT SWASTIKAS. THEY ARE HINDU RELIGIOUS SYMBOLS. NOT SWASTIKAS. I AM NOT A NAZI.

But, my mom gave me this journal when I started claires class and that was when I really really started journaling. Its divided into four sections and in each section you can see my progress as an artist.

Today I'm going to take something from the third section, a two page spread.











So once you recover from this great trilogy of images, look closer at them. They might be hard to read, but all the typed text can be found at my old xanga (www.xanga.com/ostrichface). By typed I mean bolded text, the regularly typed text was something I printed out from y private computer journals, and it is important to understand that while I kept these journals I had a huge problem with empty space and this page drove me crazy because I couldn't obliterate it all.

Neha, I don't know if anyone else is having that problem? On my computer I am able to enlarge them, but I will oook around see what the problem is and if its on my end. I am able to enlarge them on this computer and my mac, but I'll leave my ip address and see if thats still true.

And! Another question for everyone reading. I really really am interested in the process of how you dream, dreams you've expieranced, really anything about sleep you are willing to share. I also understand that you can't comment without an account which is a shame, so email or facebook your answer to me. I'm interested.

There are some smells that you can't learn to love. There are people like that too.

Today. Today was one of those quiet smoky days. Today I woke up and wanted to puke. Puking feels like it should be a metaphor for something, as if puking is some well known tired archetype.  

Today I really wanted to go to the park but everyone was too busy. I felt like I was five years old.  

During the summer I'm going to spend every day at the park.

I want everyone to know that I tried to update an hour ago (because I have no life. I'm just kidding. I have a life. Gotcha.) and it was extremely extremely difficult. So today instead of the nicely scanned enlargable pictures we have something more...simplistic.

yes. yes I did just take pictures with my macbook of a piece of art that I worked on earlier today. Yes, yes you can see my fingers in some of the pictures. And yes, the lighting is terribly.

But in desperate times, I'm not afraid to lose my dignity :] 

So, tonight, I'm going to sit on my porch, listen to the rain and animal and collective and burn holes into the above art, and post it tomorrow? Or edit into todays post. We'll see what time I get done.

So in my last post I admitted to having a blog counter. Its a really indepth one with graphs and pie charts and everything. I know all sorts of stuff like I've had 23 unique visitors, and! That the majority of them use macs (3 use windows).

Whenever I get bored I check it. And. ok. I have a question for my visitors.

What do you like? 

Part of this blog is a way for me to preserve and share my journals, but I'm also curious as to what you like? Is it ok if I talk about wanting to puke? my day? not going to the park? 

Ok. so. 23 visitors. thats exciting. I am exciting. 

Somedays raisons feel less like grapes and more like fingertips

Currently, I'm working in a journal whose picture is posted to the left (to the left to the left, everything you own in a box to the left). Actually right ( I frequently confuse the two because intuitively the way I feel about my right hand is affectionate and the word right is such a hard sound. Like rain on a windsheild, but left is softer. Like babies in a park) 

This journal is my first completely private one. In the past I've folded over pages, or claimed journals to be private to keep them hidden from certain people, but this one is legitimately private. For that reason, I think I'll be pulling  more from other journals, which, for the most part, are public.

But, for today, I'm going to post one thing from this joural. To kick off this journal journey is something small and literal: Art.

I am a big advocate of art. Art is great and pretty and wonderful and I am not that good at it? Mostly I just have a box of paints, soft pastals, and oil pastals. But I'm a big fan of this piece. 

I like this piece because when I'm reading books (specifically a satirical one) they talk about the future being filled with lamp lit streets and just not being a nice place because it will be too bright, too public, too technological. 

I happen to love street lamps. 

I feel like here I show how lamps look to me. Blue, warm, and lovely.